how to get through fear

Feeling Scared? Here Are Five Tips To Get Through It.

I spend a lot of time being scared, but I think it’s a good thing because my relationship with it has evolved. That harder beat of my heart let’s me know that I’m living and that I’m pushing against the boundaries of my comfort zone. I’m not stagnating. I’m growing.

I’ve made no secret of the fact that in the past I’ve given into paralysis from either anxiety, overwhelm or depression. Though fear is still not necessarily pleasant, I’m happy to say that I realized something: I’ve finally developed the kind of relationship with it where I can regard the fear for what it is, then take inventory. It’s more of a scientific approach and it’s way more effective than becoming overwhelmed by emotion.

Here’s what I’ve been doing, and you can, too, when you’re feeling freaked out by politics, overwhelmed by workload, not accomplished enough because social media is so much TMI, or if you’re still one of those people who thinks that watching the news is keeping them informed and not numbed, frozen and willing and able to consume and endless parade of useless shit that will leave you empty at the end of the day. (If you need me, I’ll be over here learning how to form an opinion.)

  1. Take Inventory Of What You Have. It is so easy to focus on what you DON’T have: enough money, enough food, enough retweets, enough time, enough sleep, enough creativity… List out what you do have access to. I assume if you’re reading this you also have a roof over your head. Did you have a meal today? Maybe two? Three? Do you have even one friend who will listen to you? For a second, stop looking at the gaps and appreciate what you’ve got.
  2. Think About A Time You Were A Total Badass. What were you doing? How did you feel? How did you stand? What was happening in your life, your relationships, your diet, your routine, your friends… what was going on in your life?
  3. Reproduce Circumstances In Which You Were A Total Badass. I’m not saying spend your afternoon making grand, lush gestures. If I did, you’d be even more overwhelmed (but prove me wrong!) so I mean what is one little thing you could change in your life that would contribute to your personal eco-system that will help you flourish and grow into the bad-ass venus fly-trap boss ass badass that you are?
  4. Be Honest With Yourself & Others. When anxiety was all: yo, I own you, I used to do the thing where I was like “I’m well, thank you” with a clenched jaw and tight lips when people asked how I was. I didn’t want people to think I was weak. That would be the worst, right? WRONG. You’re special, but you’re not so special that you’re the only one experiencing your particular problem. Share. Let people know. You’ll be shocked at how much people will open up to you when you’re real about your stuff. Then BOOM! More connections. More relationships. More awesome energy coming your way. More people to talk to when you need that special little shove.
  5. Write About It. With no pressure to be Shakespeare. I keep a beautiful Christian Lacroix journal in my purse with a pen and just write things down. What I’m feeling. What I’m going to do. What worked. What didn’t. Now I have my own little library that’s all about me that I can reference. Plus, I buy the pretty journals, so I have something nice and French to look at.

What do you do when you feel fear creeping in? What are you most afraid of right now?

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